A Khmer Wedding Ceremony: Honoring Tradition with Modern Love
Weddings are more than just a celebration—they are a reflection of culture, heritage, and family. For many Khmer-American couples, embracing the beauty of a traditional Cambodian wedding is a way to honor their roots while stepping into a new chapter of life together. Whether you’ve grown up surrounded by Khmer traditions or you’re reconnecting with your ancestry, knowing what to expect can make your wedding experience even more meaningful.
Honoring All Love Stories
Miranda (left) wearing a traditional Khmer outfit, and Kayleigh (right) in a classic white gown, celebrating their love at an intimate home ceremony in North Carolina.
While Khmer wedding traditions have historically centered around heterosexual couples, we want to acknowledge and uplift the love stories that don’t always get seen. As an LGBTQ+, women, and Asian-owned business, we know firsthand how meaningful—and at times, challenging—it can be to embrace your heritage when it hasn’t always embraced you.
We’ve seen firsthand how rare it still is for queer Khmer couples to feel welcomed or recognized in traditional ceremonies, often due to generational or cultural expectations. But love knows no bounds, and we believe every couple—regardless of gender or identity—deserves to honor their roots and celebrate their commitment in a way that feels true to them.
This blog reflects many traditional elements of a Khmer wedding, and to honor cultural accuracy, we use historical terms like “bride” and “groom” throughout the descriptions. However, these rituals are not limited by gender—they can be reimagined, reinterpreted, and joyfully embraced by LGBTQ+ couples, too. Whether you’re a same-sex couple incorporating tradition, a modern pair blending cultures, or just beginning to envision your wedding day, your story is valid, beautiful, and worth celebrating. You balong here.
What to Expect in a Traditional Khmer Wedding Ceremony
A Khmer wedding is not just a single event—it’s an immersive journey filled with symbolic rituals, vibrant colors, and blessings from elders. Typically spanning an entire day, the ceremony is composed of multiple parts, each with its own significance. Because of its length, some couples choose to shorten the ceremony to a half-day while still incorporating the most meaningful traditions to them. Traditional Khmer weddings often include live bands that perform native music and accompany cultural performances, adding to the rich and festive atmosphere.
The Early Morning: Getting Ready
One of the most underrated parts of a Khmer wedding day is how early it all begins—often before the sun even rises. While the ceremony may not start until later in the morning, the getting-ready process is an essential (and beautifully chaotic) part of the experience.
A sweet moment between bridesmaid and bride, as she gently touches up her makeup— adorned in traditional Cambodian attire.
The bridal team, makeup artists, and cultural vendors typically arrive first thing in the morning to begin preparing the couple and their wedding party. It’s common for brides, grooms, and their loved ones to wake up around 5:00 or 6:00 AM to start the process—especially when multiple outfit changes and traditional attire are involved. The entire process typically takes about 2 hours to get ready.
Before hair and makeup even begins, there's often a quiet but meaningful exchange where the couple presents gifts—such as a tray of fruit, roasted chicken, a bottle of Hennessy, and a red envelope—to the bridal styling team and ceremony musicians. This offering is a gesture of respect and gratitude, honoring the role these vendors play in bringing the cultural experience to life.
Everyone plays a part in preparing for the day: bridesmaids and groomsmen are asked to wear specific undergarments (think spandex, strapless bras, and knee-length black socks) to make quick changes easier between traditional outfits. With laughter, nerves, and coffee flowing, this early-morning window becomes an intimate and exciting prelude to the full celebration ahead.
The Groom’s Processional (Hai Goan Gomloh)
The day begins with the groom’s parade, a joyful procession symbolizing his journey to present gifts to the bride’s family. Traditionally, the ceremony begins and ends at the bride’s family home, a meaningful setting that honors her lineage and the ancestral spirits of her household. The act of gathering at her home also reflects the traditional custom of the groom joining the bride’s family and asking for their blessing. The groom’s party and guests gathers outside of the bride’s house before setting off on a short walk—sometimes circling the block—before returning to the entrance to formally present the offerings. Alternatively, these Khmer ceremonies can be held at a venue as well.
This segment of the wedding is a crucial moment where the groom formally asks for permission to marry the bride. As he and his party approach, they come bearing gifts to shower the bride’s family in acceptance and goodwill. The offerings symbolize the groom’s ability to provide for his new family and demonstrate his sincerity in joining their lineage.
Procession Order and Roles:
The traditional processional begins with children leading the way, followed by the groom with his parents, the groomsmen, and then the rest of the wedding guests.
Leading the Procession: At the forefront are two young children, typically a boy and a girl, embodying innocence and symbolizing the couple's aspirations for a future filled with prosperity and descendants.
Groom and His Parents: Following the children, the groom walks alongside his parents, a powerful image of unity, respect, and intention. The groom's mother positions herself to his left, and his father to his right. Each parent carries a Thong Rong, a traditional ceremonial tray used to hold offerings during significant rituals. The act of carrying the Thong Rong signifies the parents' support and active participation in their son's matrimonial journey. The groom himself carries the Phka Sla—a palm flower that will be used later in the ceremony to bless the couple.
Groomsmen and the Ceremonial Umbrella: Trailing the groom and his parents are the groomsmen. Each groomsmen holds a ceremonial umbrella, symbolizing protection and honor as the groom approaches the bride's home.
Remaining Family and Friends: The remaining family and friends are then paired up and asked to carry matching offerings—like identical trays of fruit or desserts. This symbolizes balance, harmony between both families, and the unity and shared blessings being brought into the couple’s new life together.
The Maha (right) begins the parade, offering blessings as he leads the processional at Sompao Meas in Lowell, MA.
Before the walk begins, the Maha (ceremonial leader) calls out the traditional phrase, “Chey Haong, Sousdey Haong, Men Haong,” followed by the striking of a gong. This declaration is both spiritual and symbolic, signaling the official start of the parade. The gong draws everyone’s attention and sets the ceremonial tone for the day.
The phrase “Chey Haong, Sousdey Haong, Men Haong” is often used as a ceremonial call to attention—it’s like a spiritual “hear ye, hear ye” in Khmer tradition. That first “Chey Haong” is the most recognizable because it's always said with a strong voice and immediately followed by the gong, making it super memorable. You will find that they perform this at the start of each blessing throughout the day.
As the parade begins, the line starts walking in sync and people can enjoy the lively music that accompanies this beautiful tradition. Once they arrive back the bride’s house, the Maha (or elder leading the ritual) usually continues with a longer poetic blessing or introduction, depending on the specific ritual. These lines can vary, but they usually include words of praise, honor, good fortune, followed by another ring of the gong.
A live Khmer band performing with traditional Cambodian instruments at Sompao Meas in Lowell, MA.
The bride then greets the groom at the door alongside her parents. With grace and humility, she bows and gently places a flower garland around the groom’s neck as a gesture of welcome and acceptance. In return, the groom offers her the Phka Slaa. He then bows and places a garland on her as well, completing the ceremonial exchange.
The gongs ring once more, echoing through the home as the couple enters together, officially beginning the sacred part of the ceremony. Inside, guests gather in the main room, placing all the trays of offerings—previously carried during the parade—on the floor or a table in an organized, symmetrical layout in front of the couple and their parents. These trays are arranged with care to honor the presentation and the prosperity they symbolize.
An assortment of Cambodian fruits and desserts, beautifully arranged in gold trays and wrapped in cellophane for the ceremony.
Everyone then sits on a chair, if provided, or on the floor in the traditional Khmer posture, known as chong krabey. This involves sitting with your legs bent to one side, knees pointed in the same direction, and feet tucked behind you—never pointed toward the elders or the altar out of respect. It’s a formal, elegant way of being seated during religious and ceremonial events, especially temples.
The Ring Ceremony
At this point, the ring exchange takes place. The couple holds their rings up to display them to the room before slipping them onto each other’s fingers. This act of mutual commitment is witnessed and celebrated by everyone present.
The Thong Rongs—six-sided gold vessels seen on the table—are the same ones carried by the parents during the parade.
Finally, the Thong Rongs are exchanged between families. These are ornate ceremonial trays traditionally used to carry offerings in important rituals. They often contain symbolic items like:
Candles and incense – representing light, spirituality, and prayer
Fruits – for abundance and fertility
Traditional sweets or pastries – symbolizing sweetness in the couple’s life ahead
Betel leaves and areca nuts – representing respect and connection between families
In this exchange, the bride presents the Thong Rong to the groom’s parents, while the groom presents one to the bride’s parents—symbolizing the formal unity and gratitude between both families.
The Hair-Cutting Ceremony (Gaat Sah)
One of the most intimate parts of the ceremony is Gaat Sah, a symbolic ritual where the couple receives a fresh start. Before it begins, the couple changes into a new outfit specifically for this part of the ceremony. When they return, they are seated in chairs while a traditional performance unfolds—usually in the form of song and dance. The singers begin by playfully pretending to cut the couple’s hair, dancing and offering blessings through music and movement. This act symbolizes purification and marks the beginning of a new life together, filled with prayers for joy, harmony, and success.
A small pair of scissors is used alongside a bottle of perfume, adding deeper meaning to the ritual. After the performers, the couple’s parents are the first to approach, gently combing through their hair, making a symbolic snip, and spraying perfume around them. Friends and family follow in pairs, taking turns to do the same. This ritual of blessing and renewal represents cleansing from the past and preparation for the journey ahead. The lingering fragrance of the perfume serves as a gentle reminder of the love, hopes, and well-wishes that now surround the couple.
Midday Break & Ancestral Blessing
After the Gaat Sah ceremony, the wedding typically pauses for a well-deserved lunch break. Khmer wedding blessings are meaningful and often lengthy, so this moment offers everyone—guests, elders, and the wedding party alike—a chance to rest, enjoy traditional food, and hydrate with refreshments. A communal meal is served, often including classics like Bai Cha (fried rice), Somlor Machu (sour soup), grilled meats, and plenty of tropical fruits. It's a time of laughter, reconnection, and recharging for the next round of ceremonies.
While guests are finishing eating and mingling, the bride and groom often take this time to change into their next outfit. But there’s also a quiet and deeply spiritual moment that takes place during this midday break: the Ancestor Blessing.
In this ritual, the couple and their families set aside offerings—usually a small table of food, desserts, water, and sometimes tea or liquor—dedicated to loved ones who have passed. They light incense, bow three times, and call upon their ancestors for blessings, protection, and guidance. It’s a sacred way of including those who are no longer physically present, honoring their memory while inviting them to be part of the day in spirit. This act reinforces the deep respect Khmer culture holds for lineage and family legacy, reminding everyone that marriage is not just the union of two people, but also the blending of generations.
The Passing of Blessings (Bongvul Prompel)
The Maha (left) lighting three candles to begin the Passing of Blessings ceremony.
In this heartfelt moment, elders and guests are asked to form a circle around the couple, creating a sacred space of love and support. Three lit candles are passed around the circle, with each guest waving their hand over the flame before passing it to the next person. This act symbolizes the transfer of blessings, warmth, and positive energy to the couple. The candles continue to be passed around three times, reinforcing the strength of the couple’s bond and the collective well-wishes from their loved ones. The flickering flames serve as a reminder of the guiding light that family and community provide in their journey together.
The Hand-Tying Ceremony (Chorng Dai)
One of the most memorable and widely recognized Khmer wedding traditions is the knot-tying ceremony. Guests gather around the couple, taking turns in pairs to tie red strings around their wrists while offering heartfelt wishes for love, prosperity, and longevity. These strings are typically placed in a bowl of blessing water beforehand—infused with fragrant flower petals and sacred energy. The water, often prepared by elders or spiritual figures, is meant to purify and bless the couple’s union.
Each guest then picks up a single flower stem from the bowl. They dip the tip of the flower's petals into the blessing water, then gently tap the couple on their heads and hands. This tender gesture is a symbolic transfer of blessings—offering protection, happiness, and spiritual guidance as the newlyweds begin their life together.
The red strings remain tied for at least three days and are a visual reminder of the well-wishes and bonds shared that day. For many couples, especially those choosing to condense the full day of ceremonies, this ritual is a must-keep—representing not only the union of two people but the embracing support of an entire community.
Preah Thong and Neang Neak Ceremony
One of the most culturally significant parts of a traditional Khmer wedding is the Preah Thong and Neang Neak ceremony. In this ritual, the couple symbolically reenacts the ancient love story that is said to mark the founding of the Khmer people.
Statue of Preah Thong and Neang Neak in Cambodia. Photo Credit: https://mythlok.com/preah-thong-and-neang-neak/
In the ceremony, the groom takes on the role of Preah Thong, a foreign prince, while the bride represents Neang Neak, the daughter of the Naga King. The story goes that Preah Thong traveled across the seas and fell in love with Neang Neak. Upon asking for her hand in marriage, her father, the Naga King, accepted—but only under the condition that Preah Thong embrace the bride’s customs and culture. To honor this, the Naga King created dry land from the sea for the couple to live on—what is now believed to be the land of Cambodia.
This story is not just romantic—it carries deep meaning for Khmer weddings today. It symbolizes unity, respect, and the blending of two families (and sometimes, even cultures). The groom’s role as Preah Thong represents his journey to join the bride’s family and honor her lineage, while the bride as Neang Neak symbolizes tradition, strength, and cultural continuity.
During the ceremony, you may notice that the couple walks in a very specific way: the bride leads the groom in a circle. This mirrors the tale of Neang Neak leading Preah Thong into her homeland, representing the groom’s acceptance of the bride’s customs and his willingness to integrate into her family’s way of life. It’s one of the rare cultural traditions where the bride leads the way—and it highlights the deep respect Khmer culture holds for the bride and her family.
The Preah Thong and Neang Neak ritual reminds everyone present that marriage is not just a personal commitment, but a sacred continuation of ancestral stories, cultural pride, and spiritual unity.
The Grand Finale: Throwing of Phka-Sla
The final act of the Khmer wedding is the tossing of Phka-Sla, a palm tree flower representing blessings and prosperity. The Phka-Sla contains tiny white seeds, which guests pick off and toss at the couple as a symbolic act of showering them with good fortune. These seeds resemble small white grains of rice, further emphasizing wishes for abundance, fertility, and happiness in their new life together. As the final gong echoes through the room, cheers erupt and excitement fills the air—the couple is now officially married and ready to continue the celebration at the reception!
Why Hire a Wedding Team That Understands You
Planning a wedding—especially one as intricate and culturally significant as a Khmer ceremony—requires vendors who truly understand your traditions. At MadLove, we don’t just show up to take photos or film the day; we embrace your culture, ensuring that every moment is captured with authenticity and care.
As an Asian-owned business based in Boston and serving all of New England, we know how important it is to feel seen, heard, and respected. Whether you’re hosting a full Khmer wedding or blending traditions, we work closely with you to create an experience that reflects who you are. From capturing the intricate details of your cultural attire to highlighting the most meaningful rituals, we’re here to make your wedding day seamless and stress-free.
Let’s Celebrate Your Love, Your Way
Your love story is unique, and your wedding should be too. If you’re looking for a wedding team that understands Khmer traditions, values inclusivity, and brings storytelling to life through photography and videography, we’d love to be part of your journey.
Contact us today to start planning your dream Khmer-American wedding. Let’s honor your heritage while creating new memories together!
